Saturday, April 21, 2012

Video Game Genres that Game Companies are too Afraid to Make

 All these genres mentioned once had great fame in their time, but now that we are infatuated with military shooters, 2D brawlers, casual puzzles and RPG clones you don't see these games any more.  I'm waiting for the day that these games rise from their ashes and dominate the systems again.

3D Fictional Fighters

Examples:  Tekken, Virtua Fighter, DOA
Description:  Two combatants fight within a 3D realm, battling each other with tons of combos that are difficult to master.
Afraid Because:  The resurgence of Street Fighter has made a boom in the 2D button basher industry.  Even Tekken has forsaken its 3D roots.  Also fighting games are abandoning their realism with fighting styles and moves and replacing them with explosions and missiles.  3D fighters focus on high resolution battle arenas and complex fighting styles, which is harder to make than Anime based sprites with outlandish attacks.  We are more likely to see a Blazblue than a Bloody Roar.

Skateboarding Games

ExamplesTony Hawk, EA Skate, Shaun White Skateboarding, Skateboarding Evolution
Description:  Pick or create a pro skateboarder and net together tricks in a skate park.
Afraid Because:  Before the Kinect changed all sports games, skateboard games were all about button bashing, high scores and balance.  With the creation of Kinect and different peripherals, gamers wanted more realism and hands-on approaches to skateboarding.  That plan failed miserably due to paper thin gameplay and high peripheral cost.  No one dares go back to the Tony Hawk and Skate days.

High Quality Android Exclusive Games

Examples:  Monster Shooter
Description:  High spec addicting games for the Android
Afraid Because:  Google's OS is not much competition for Apples iOS and one of the main reasons is because of bad third party support in games.  The iPhone gets perfect compatibility with Modern Combat, Mortal Kombat, Battlefield 2, Super Street Fighter Volt, Soul Calibur, Simpsons Arcade and Star Wars Arcade.  The Android only gets 10% of those games and not all phones and tablets can handle the high end specs.  The Android is like the neighborhood OS and any piece of hardware can use it (imperfectly) thus making it almost impossible to make games exclusive to it.  Now add to the fact that gamers are more likely to use the free ad-supported games and you have little reason for high end developers to put much focus on the Android.

A Quality Non-WWE Wrestling Game

Examples:  WCW Vs. NWO Revenge, TNA Impact, Ultimate Muscle, AAA Heroes Del Ring
Description:  A high quality and addicting wrestling game that is actually competitive to WWE games
Afraid BecauseWWE owns the pro wrestling game genre and everyone else believes that fact.  WCW rarely got a playable game and other tributes to pro wrestling were either Japanese or very unplayable.  This is another example of a genre that needs to be beautiful, complex, easy to execute and have loads of detail in order to be successful.  On the flipside, everyone is taking a stab at the MMA franchise, but little is given to pro wrestling.  Any company worth its salt could easily dethrone WWE if they just put in a little time and effort. 

Adventure/ Survival FPS


Example:  Half-Life, Geist, and Call of Cthulu, Singularity
Description:  A first person perspective game that focuses on collecting items, solving puzzles and survival.
Afraid Because:  Due to today's audience, games are more like 90's action movies than slower paced and dramatic shooters.  The Battlefield and Call of Duty band wagon has ensured that easy money comes from huge explosions, wacky plots and multiplayer.  A game that makes players explore and survive is rare because of our need for instant gratification. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Popular Star Wars Quotes (W/ TMI)

Brevity is the soul of wit, but what would happen if we took Star Wars movie quotes and made them long winded and too personal.

"Luke, I am your male DNA donor who participated in producing you in the womb."  Darth Vader

"May the global network of telekinetic powers and psychic manipulation support you figuratively."  Obi Wan Kenobi

"I inquire as to why your height requirement is not the proper height for a Stormtrooper which averages between 5 feet 9 inches." Princess Leia

" Assist me Obi Wan Kenobi in recruiting the son of Darth Vader, training him up in the force, losing your life to a lightsaber duel, using your dead etheral spirit to command him and letting Yoda finish the training, you're my only hope." Princess Leia

"Perform the action or do not perform the action, there is no blind attempt with probability of failure."  Yoda

 "It's a well devised, pre-planned, contraption intended for capturing by use of illusion." Admiral Ackbar 

"Aggressive gurgle!  Aggressive gurgle!"  Chewbacca

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Movies Based on Board Games

With Battleship coming out, I have been pondering what other board games would make great movies.  And since Clue was a smash success, I think my movies wouldn't do so bad either.

Monopoly:  In 1920's New York City, a eccentric billionaire invites a group of millionaire business men to a dangerous game.  The men must buy up as mush of New York City property as possible.  The game gets out of hand when the millionaires take it too seriously and trick each other's families into staying at tourist trap hotels.  Who will survive the vicious game of buying and selling?  Starring Michael Douglas, Alec Baldwin, and Ryan Gosling as Thimble, Race Car and Yorkshire and Martin Sheen as Montgomery Moneybags.

Pass The Pigs:  A community of farmers in Soviet Russia learn to coexist in economic hard times by renting out (or passing) livestock to each other.  A warm heartfelt comedy about being a true neighbor and looking out for one another.  Guest cameo from Martin Sheen as Wilbert the talking pig.  Subtitles in English.

Apples to Apples:  Hilary Swank plays an OCD English teacher that tells her students to be brutally honest when confronted with different nouns.  Eventually all her students start yelling out "ugly," "creepy," and "Delicious" when confronted with family, girlfriends and Helen Keller.  Things go topside when the protagonist played by Shia Lebouf reveals that he thinks his girlfriend is "smelly," "rich," "disgusting," "beautiful," and "dazzling."

Connect Four:  Four government spies find out that one of them is a mole.  Now they have to connect how their fellow spy is entangled in this dangerous game of betrayal and sabotage.  How do they connect?  Will they connect before the whole government topples from its grid?

Don't Wake Daddy:  A psycho drama about an alcoholic father who is in charge of an estranged daughter.  Though he is very abusive to her, she dreams of a perfect life with him.  In a heart wrenching ending, the father gets into a coma and has the same dream as his daughter.  Billy Bob Thorton steals the show as Gordy, the retired Nascar driver, and Dakota Fanning is the daughter pining for a better life.

 Sorry:  Two Alaskan fishers get stuck on an iceberg.  Tensions flare as global warming melts the ice berg and they soon learn that they cannot coexist on the same space.  Who will survive and who will be sorry?  Harrison Ford and Topher Grace star as the Alaskan farmers.  Natalie Portman plays the mysterious voice from Aurora.

Parcheesi: A gold hearted musical about, Teddy, an old man who finds that his house is blocked off by a wall.  The only way he can get home is by going around the world and getting home from the other side.  Along the way he meets Neil Patrick Harris, Felicia Day and Jackie Chan.  A feel good movie about coming of age.

Operation:  Ryan Reynolds wakes up on an operating bed in Afghanistan to find that he has 8 bombs sewn into his torso.  It's a race against time as Kirsten Dunst, a retired doctor, must remove all bombs without moving them drastically.  Johnny Depp plays the sadistic terrorist doctor, Doctor Rednose.  From the director of Phone Booth comes this horrifying nightmare.

Jenga:  Michael Bay's finest science fiction piece to date.  Two demolition experts, Andy Sanberg and Jonah Hill, accidentally blow up a building created by an ancient race of aliens.  Now the aliens exact revenge by destroying popular buildings around the world.  Featuring unused CGI from Transformers.   
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