Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What if Real Life Was Like Teenager Fiction?

Here's a glimpse at what real life would look like if we were authored by a teenage fiction writer.

(Sitting in his oval office, Obama reads over his reports.  His assistant watches over nervously)

Obama:  Jenkins, get over here.

Jenkins:  What is it, sir?

Obama:  These debt numbers are atrocious.  We will die if this continues.

Jenkins:  All your best money counters have been working on this.  There is nothing we can do.

Obama:  Looks like we are doomed....unless.

Jenkins:  Unless what?

Obama:  We need kids!  Kids can save us!

Jenkins:  Kids, sir?

 Obama:  About five of them between the ages of 11 and 18.  All of them must have secret math powers that they are just discovering.

Jenkins:  What can kids do?

Obama:  Make the group co-ed, Jenkins.  I want at least one pair to fall in love.  Make sure it's the outcast kid and the quirky girl.

Jenkins: (starts writing down notes)

Obama: I want a rich kid, a black kid and a kid that gets into fights.  Also, lots of emotional girls that make horribly rash decisions.

Jenkins:  Really?  

Obama:  Absolutely, this will be the only way that these kids can show the power of trust, unite and beat the  dark country of china, which has a debt team owned by the evil Lord Snicklesnap.

Jenkins:  That is a bit of a stretch...

Obama:  Pay attention!  Make sure all these kids either hate their parents, are orphans or have parents that never question their independence.  These kids will be out late with absolutely no accountability.

Jenkins:  Sir, will this be an educational book or a goth book?

Obama:  Educational, of course!  As these kids raise the debt ceiling, I want them to learn that warm fuzzy love and loyalty to friends beats out all other morals and priorities.  Also, make sure the leader of the team is condescending and self debasing throughout the entire process of leadership.  No confidence in himself is a must!

Jenkins:  And you really believe that this will solve our debt problem?

Obama:  It will take about three to four books to solve it, but we can expand the last book into three parts for the movie.  That way we can make more money.

Jenkins:  I already have Chris Hemmsworth and Kristen Stewart on the phone!

Obama:  Excellent.  I am also resigning, effective immediately.  I will be replaced by the loner kid that no one really believed in, but has great potential.

Jenkins:  Aim higher, sir.  The Republicans just got a sexy vampire that doesn't talk to anyone to run against you.

Obama:  Darn you Romney!

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