"And another thing...we should deport all..."
5. Robert Deniro
Was it the rambling on and on for too long, or the fact that he suggested that the Foreign Film Press needed to be deported back to their country? Whatever it was, Robert Deniro gets some serious points for taking up lots of our time and insulting the benefactors.
Uneasy Laughter Rating: 2/5
The Sequel: Baby Bop's Version (Property of Leigh)
4. Barney's Version
Apparently this was a movie starring Paul Giamatti, but the problem is that no one knew what it was. I'm not talking about the audience, but even Wikipedia didn't have too much information on this movie. Did someone forget to market? This just goes to show that people don't have to see your movie in order for it to win. Other honorable mentions for this category: Winter's Bone, Frankie and Alice and Rabbit Hole.
Uneasy Laughter Rating: 1/5
At least they removed the defecating on the Dutch flag bit.
3. Ricky Gervais
America needs to learn that British hosts are not safe for children, or people not exposed to war. Ricky tried to shoot for charming, but ended up insulting the whole spectrum of people. Not since Russell Brand triumphantly mocked the Christians, called President Bush retarded and defiled all that was innocent at the MTV Music Awards, has a Brit host tried to make everyone equally as offended. Here's a simple tip for picking the next host for an awards show: if you have to plead with them not to make a Hitler reference and use the American flag as a napkin, they are probably not people-appropriate.
Uneasy Laughter Rating: 4/5
"I can has talk words"
2. Bad Public Speaking
The room is full of passionate experts in the art of drama and theater, but not a single one of them can do public speaking. What tipped this off? Diane Warren, writer for Burlesque, stared at her mic for the whole acceptance speech, Robert Deniro went off on side tangents, Justin Beiber looked like a deer in the headlights and many of the A-list actors couldn't make teleprompter reading look natural. The whole world looks to America to emote and deliver lines and our guys can't even get through a paragraph to introduce the next nominees.
Uneasy Laughter Rating: It just hurt!
Get this man some Anti-Viagra
1. Robert Downey Jr.
Nothing made us cringe more than having Robert Downey Jr. tell the female nominees that they may have had sex with him. In his infinite charm he went through the list and spoke about his feeble attempts to procreate with women. He then got to Emma Stone, the youngest of the bunch, and winked sending a wave of discomfort through the crowd. This just goes to show that a hostage situation isn't the only way to make a crowd feel in danger.
Uneasy Laughter Rating: C R I N G E!
Honorable Mention:
"My song is not literal, guys, it's a metaphor."
There was an NBC commercial about the show, America's Next Great Restaurant, in which the Kelis song "Milkshake" was the background piece. For those of you who do not know the song "Milkshake", it is a proud statement of how a young girl's mammary gland sizes and how she implements them can cause young men to want to visit her location. Apparently NBC thought it was a song about a literal suburban milkshake vendor that only caters to men. I can see the confusion.
No comments:
Post a Comment